When I separated from my now ex-husband, I was a bit sheltered. Butch took care of repairs around the house, our cars, and finances. When he moved out on April 2, 2015, I began an adventure in growing up. I suddenly had to do many things I had never done on my own before. And being the journal-keeper and list-maker I am, I kept a list of those things. I ran across the list the other day when I was cleaning out a box of old papers and I thought I’d share it with you. Now, recall that I was 64 years old when I divorced, well above the age when most people have done some of these things for themselves for forty years or more. Well, better late than never, as they say.
| Wedesday 4/8/2015 | Called AAA to replace the dead battery in my car |
| Sunday 4/12/2015 | Visited a new church (Butch got our church in the separation negotiation) |
| Saturday 5/2/15 | Went to Breckenridge Park for a walk |
| Saturday 5/9/15 | Went to Mission San Juan for a walk |
| Fixed undercabinet light cover from falling down | |
| Rented a movie at Red Box (I must have been padding my stats because this is a really easy thing to do. I just hadn’t done it before.) | |
| Figured out Apple TV and Roku on our very complicated TV set up (this task must be out of order because surely I couldn’t have gone this long without TV!) | |
| Drove to Marfa through thunderstorm and hail | |
| Ran at two new places in Marfa, along the railroad tracks and Mimms Ranch | |
| Drove back from Marfa | |
| Filled in-sink hand soap dispenser in kitchen by unscrewing it from below instead of from the top | |
| Changed air conditioner filter Woo-hoo! (Not sure what the woo-hoo was about. It must have been more difficult than it should have been.) | |
| Looked at financials (Butch was still putting these together but he didn’t go over them with me. I had to figure it out myself.) | |
| Saturday 5/23/15 | Fixed drain on washing machine! (This was really hard. I even wrote how I did it.) Did what the instructions said and it didn’t work. Really didn’t want to call Butch so I waited. Told myself there was no reason to call him right away. I could call repairman myself. Had lunch, prayed about it. Tried washer again and it worked! Thank God!! |
| Monday 5/25/15 | Applied flea treatment to all 4 cats by myself |
| Saturday 5/30/15 | Mowed lawn – finally. Had a hard time starting it until I remembered the primer button. Didn’t weed eat because of time. |
| Monday 6/15/15 | Moved to “my own place”–duplex–packed and moved everything myself except my Juju chair (the rocking chair I bought when my granddaughter was born). Making my own home with my own rules and systems. |
| Tuesday 6/23/15 | Got my tire replaced because it had a nail in it |
| Thursday 7/2/15 | Took my car in for 95,000 mile service (This required lining up a ride to and from the dealership. My friend, Dolores, took me and, as I recall, we worked in a nice long chat over breakfast.) |
| Tuesday 7/7/15 | Bought and applied my new registration sticker–it’s not straight but good enough |
| Wedesday 7/29/2015 | Had my tires rotated |
| Sunday 7/12/2015 | Visited a new church–Covenant–new experience because it is a Presbyterian church. Re-entered my “old” life. |
| Friday 7/31/15 | Told Butch I wanted a divorce |
| Friday 8/7/2015 | Found and sub-leased an apartment in Austin |
| Tuesday 8/11/2015 | Retained my attorney and instructed her to file |
| Thursday 8/13/2015 | Took possession of apartment and started moving in |
| Friday 8/14/15 | Purchased bed, TV and sound bar. Set up TV and soundbar in time for cable guy. Bed delivered. Transferred utilites and got insurance. Then I went back to SA. |
For some reason which I don’t remember, I left the date off some of the entries. But don’t let that confuse you; I did not do all of those things on the same day! Oh, if only I could. It is a little embarrassing to admit all the things I had never done before on my own, like the car stuff. However, when I look back over the list and remember each of these experiences I am amazed how far I’ve come. Every time I completed a new task successfully, even if I had problems getting it done, in the end I felt more confident and competent to tackle whatever came next.
Within a few days of returning to San Antonio, I left for Australia which I have written about previously. I think that’s why I stopped keeping this list. That trip was a biggie; every accomplishment after would have paled in comparison. And I had my divorce to plan for, moving to Austin to complete, and life after divorce to figure out. All things I had never done before on my own.
Thanks for dropping in for a read. Now, go out there and do something new and fun!
Woodpile Kitty ATX
Woodpile Kitty 
I love this one Kay. I know it was hard for you at times but in the process of losing Butch I feel you found yourself. You’re an amazing woman who has so many strengths and so many talents to share and so many friends who love you. Keep on finding how strong a woman you are! Love you, Sheila
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Thanks, Sheila. Your kind words mean a lot to me. You are such a sweet friend. I know you have struggled after losing Wayne but you are working through it making a life without him by your side in the flesh. But I am certain he is with you in spirit. I admire you. You are a strong woman. Love you, Kay
You go girl! We all have it in us….nice reminder! Not to mention your blog is an inspiration as I would never “undertake” such a lofty endeavor! ❤️Austin