In one of my first posts since re-starting my blog, My ATX Story, I described how I decided to move to Austin in 2015. This post picks up with me living in a one-bedroom apartment that I had first sub-leased and then quickly leased for another year.

After living in a 900-square-foot apartment for a year, I had gotten a little claustrophobic and yearned to spread out a bit more. Not that I had a lot of stuff to spread out. I didn’t take much with me when I moved from the house I had when I was married and I hadn’t collected a lot of stuff since then either. For one reason, I didn’t have the space to put a lot of things. But more than that, I just don’t like having a lot of stuff to buy, care for and store. But more space would be nice especially so I could have friends and family over and also for a change of scenery even if I was only moving from one room to another.

With the stuff I did have the one-bedroom was cramped. My granddaughter’s toys were all over the place; my desk and dining table filled the dining room that was really more like a cove; my bedroom was shared with Emy’s pack ‘n’ play. I simply needed more room. I was an adult woman after all. I wanted to live like an adult, not a college student. So I started toying with the idea of buying a house. Just toying. Finances put a damper on my toying. And the reality of maintenance. At the apartment all I had to do was place a service request online and someone came pretty quickly to take care of whatever problem I was having (that is a problem with my apartment, not the rest of my life which could have used some maintenance as well). I looked around a little at houses in neighborhoods that were in the south Austin part of town where my apartment complex was. But the thoughts and what-ifs swirled in my head.

The most overwhelming question I had was could I afford a house. After all I was going to buy a house in Austin and that’s not a cheap proposition. I needed help.

Through my DivorceCare class I had access to financial planning help that was free of charge. This isn’t a regular DivorceCare offering, but the leaders of my group knew a retired financial planner named Paul whose purpose in retirement was to offer financial planning and advice to anyone who needed it. And when you’re getting a divorce, you definitely need financial advice. So I called him and made an appointment. I was nervous because I don’t understand finances and accounting very well. And, at that point in my divorced life, I didn’t feel confident that I understood what my resources were or how to manage them or almost anything else about them. Oh, sure I knew the amounts in my accounts but I needed help to look into the future. Admitting that now is embarrassing. But that’s the truth of it. I was afraid of the future and making a bad decision and suffering because of it.

My first meeting with Paul was over the phone because he was in Michigan spending the summer away from hot Texas. Our conversation was like a doctor taking my medical history. He asked a lot of questions, some I could answer and some, sadly, I could not. He set another meeting. But this time he wanted me to prepare a budget. Yikes! How do I do that? I panicked, of course. Then I settled down and got out my bank statements, credit card statements, and opened Excel. And started entering numbers into categories. A couple of weeks and a lot of sweat later, I gathered up my budget and met with Paul in person. He had some suggestions and helped me analyze the budget. I went home and worked on it again. A couple of more weeks and we had another meeting. This time my budget was acceptable and realistic and told a story that would probably have a happy ending. I was not destitute or an idiot or kidding myself. I had a good idea where I stood financially. I was still afraid of the future and making a bad decision and suffering because of it. But I was on the way to understanding and had some confidence that I had the ability to get my financial house in order or, at least, presentable.

I told Paul I was thinking about buying a house. He asked very intelligent questions–he really was good at the question thing–like where did I want this house to be and what price range. I told him in south Austin where I was currently living and about $250,000. He gave me another assignment: Make a budget for a $250,000 house and come back and see me in 2 weeks. Gulp! Oh, my. Now the truth will be revealed.

During this time, I announced to my kids and close friends that I was thinking about buying a house. Everyone was supportive and understood why I wanted a bigger, more permanent place. Some offered ideas of where to look and what to look for. But all the while in the back of my mind were the same questions. Am I ready for the financial responsibility and the maintenance that a house would require? Could I find, purchase, and care for a house on my own? I tried not to dwell on all those questions. I just kept moving forward and working on my budget.

Finally one day I was talking with my oldest son and I came clean about my concerns and fears. He patiently listened. When I was finished with my litany, he said, “Mom, it sounds like you aren’t ready to make the commitment. And that’s ok. You don’t have to buy a house right now. Maybe you should just consider an interim solution. A bigger place but not a purchase. Maybe rent a house or a bigger apartment.”

An interim solution. The perfect thing. Yes, that’s what I needed. Just a move to something a bigger but without the big financial commitment. So I got to work on another budget, this one for a two-bedroom apartment in my same complex. Suddenly it was easier to think about my next move. The pressure was off. Just an interim solution. I didn’t need to come up with the final solution to my housing needs. Just the next step. Whew!

At my next meeting with Paul, I presented both budgets and explained to him about the interim solution. As it turned out I could afford either the house or the apartment. When I got finished talking about all the various points of either solution, Paul asked me what I thought was the best alternative. That was one thing I liked about working with Paul; he never told me what to do, he let me figure it out on my own. He was my safety net. I announced that I was going with the two-bedroom apartment. He got a big grin on his face and said, “That’s the perfect decision. That’s exactly what I would advise.” I felt like I had gotten an A+++ on my end of the semester project! Wow, I made a good decision all on my own. Yes, I had a little help from my friends, but the decision was all mine.

I left that meeting with Paul without scheduling a follow up. He said if I needed to talk to him just give him a call. I was elated when I left that day. I felt like a real adult. Now, time to talk to the apartment management and get my new place nailed down.

Moving’ on up!

Woodpile Kitty ATX